What is our postpartum plan?

The weeks after birth are often filled with cozy snuggles, blurry nights, and possibly tears. How you prepare for them can shape how supported, rested, and connected you feel as new parents.

In many cultures around the world, this kind of planning isn’t new; it’s expected. In parts of Latin America, families follow la cuarentena, a 40-day rest period where relatives care for the new mom. In Chinese tradition, zuo yuezi emphasizes rest, warm foods, and minimal visitors. In the Netherlands, a nurse comes to your home daily for the first week to help you recover and care for your baby. At the heart of these customs is a shared belief: postpartum is not meant to be done alone.

In the U.S., however, the default is often “figure it out as you go.” A postpartum plan helps you talk through what kind of support you’ll need and how you want to feel, physically, emotionally, and as a team.

Let’s walk through how to build one that works for your family.

Start with the big picture

Before diving into logistics ask each other: What kind of postpartum experience are we hoping for? (We go deeper into the logistics of visitors, parental leave, sharing duties, emotional wellbeing, professional support in other articles, but this is a chance to talk about your bigger picture, shared vision)

Do you picture a quiet stretch of time to bond with the baby, limit visitors, and focus on healing? Or are you imagining a steady stream of loved ones dropping by with meals, hugs, and help.

What matters is being honest with each other. Don’t assume you’re on the same page without saying it out loud. I am extremely guilty of thinking my husband can read (and agree with all my thoughts). Anyone else?

Try this: each of you describe an ideal day with a newborn. Then compare. Where do your visions align? Where might you need to compromise?

Supporting mom’s recovery

Giving birth is a big deal, physically and emotionally. Whether it was a vaginal delivery, a C-section, or something in between, your body has just done something incredible. And now it needs time, space, and support to recover.

Totally Normal (Even If No One Warned You)

• Vaginal discharge (lochia): You’ll bleed after birth, even if you had a C-section. The flow starts off heavy and bright red, sometimes with clots, and slowly shifts to a lighter pink or brown. It can last for weeks. For now, maxi pads are your go-to. Tampons will need to wait until your healthcare provider says it’s safe to switch.

• Perineal soreness: If you gave birth vaginally, especially with tearing or an episiotomy, expect discomfort. Sitting may sting. Walking may feel awkward. Sneezing might make you wince. Try ice packs, witch hazel pads, sitz baths, and a good donut cushion. And don’t be afraid to ask for pain relief if you need it.

• Cramping and afterpains: As your uterus contracts back to size, it can cause cramps that mimic early labor, especially during breastfeeding. They usually fade after a few days, but they can be surprisingly strong at first.

• C-section recovery: You just had major abdominal surgery. You’ll feel sore, and your incision may feel tight, itchy, or tender. Rest as much as you can, avoid lifting anything heavier than your baby, and keep the area clean and dry. If you notice redness, swelling, pus, or a fever, call your provider.

• Engorged breasts: A few days postpartum, your breasts may go from soft to swollen bowling balls. This fullness eases with regular feeding or pumping. A warm compress before feeding, a cold pack after, and a supportive bra can help. And yes, they may leak. Nursing pads are your quiet little heroes.

• Nipple pain: Those first few latches might make you curl your toes. If the pain persists, or if your nipples crack or bleed, get help from a lactation consultant. Often it’s a latch issue, and fixable.

• Hair loss: Remember that lush pregnancy hair? It’s sadly not forever. Many people shed noticeably 1–3 months postpartum. It’s hormonal, temporary, and often more annoying than alarming.

• Sweating and swelling: Hot flashes at 3 a.m.? Totally normal. Hormones are shifting rapidly. You may also notice lingering puffiness in your feet or hands. Hydrate, wear loose clothes, and don’t panic, it fades.

• Constipation and hemorrhoids: Whether from pain meds, hormones, or sheer exhaustion, constipation is common. Hemorrhoids too. Fiber, fluids, stool softeners, and warm baths can all help.

• Pelvic floor weirdness: Peeing when you sneeze? Not uncommon. Some people benefit from pelvic floor therapy, so don’t hesitate to ask.

• Phantom kicks: Yep. Some people still feel those fluttery baby movements even after birth. Strange, yes. Dangerous, no.

• Tiredness that goes bone-deep: You may be riding on adrenaline or running on fumes. Either way, the fatigue hits differently. Sleep when the baby sleeps might sound cliché, but naps can truly save you.

• Your period (or lack thereof): If you’re not breastfeeding, your period may return in 6–8 weeks. If you are, it might be months. But you can ovulate before your period comes back, so if you're not ready for another baby, ask your provider about birth control.

When to Call Your Provider

While some discomfort is totally normal, other signs point to something more serious. Call if you notice:

• Fever over 100.4°F

• Red, swollen, or painful incisions or vaginal stitches

• Bleeding that soaks a pad an hour or includes large clots

• Foul-smelling discharge

• Pain, burning, or trouble urinating

• Persistent abdominal pain

• Headaches with blurred vision or dizziness

• Swollen, painful legs or chest pain (possible blood clot)

• Breast pain, redness, or flu-like symptoms (could be mastitis)

And emotionally:

• Sadness, irritability, or anxiety lasting longer than two weeks

• Feeling detached from your baby, or yourself

• Thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby

You’re not alone. Postpartum depression isn’t rare. It’s not shameful. And it’s absolutely treatable. You don’t have to wait until things get unbearable to ask for help

What Can Help

• Water, snacks, and nourishing meals. Your body is rebuilding. Feed it accordingly.

• Short walks or gentle movement. Even to the bathroom and back. It counts.

• Rest, whenever and however you can. A 20-minute nap? Gold.

Your body just built and delivered a whole human. Give yourself the grace, time, and space to recover.

Healing isn’t linear

Some days you’ll feel like you’re getting your strength back. Other days, everything may feel sore and fragile again. That’s normal.

Check in with each other: What’s helping? What’s hard? Are there new needs we didn’t anticipate?

Whether it’s stepping in to handle a diaper change, bringing a snack and water, or simply sitting with her while she rests, small gestures go a long way.

Support from others

People often say, “Let me know if you need anything.” But in the haze of new parenthood, it’s hard to respond in the moment.

Make it easier: write down a short list of tasks that would help, like bringing food, folding laundry, or holding the baby while you shower. Let close friends and family know what kind of support feels right, and what you really don't want.

If accepting help feels awkward, you're not alone. Letting people support you isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a reminder that we’re built for community.

Rest and checking in

Sleep is going to get weird. That’s not a warning; it’s just reality. Newborns don’t run on adult schedules, and even “good sleepers” wake up often. So plan ahead:

• Will you take turns with overnight duties?

• Is one of you returning to work sooner, and if so, how does that affect sleep needs?

• Could a friend, grandparent, or night nanny offer support?

Also talk about how you’ll check in on each other. Lack of sleep affects everything: mood, memory, patience. Have regular, honest check-ins where you can say, “I’m fried,” or “Can I get an extra hour tomorrow?”

What are we eating?

Postpartum nutrition is often an afterthought; but it shouldn’t be. What you eat affects how you feel, how well you heal, and how much energy you have to take care of your baby (and yourself).

Let’s be real: cooking with a newborn is…ambitious. Cluster feeds, blowouts, and pure exhaustion don’t exactly set the scene for chopping veggies. That’s why having a plan for food is one of the most underrated parts of postpartum prep. Here’s how to make meals easier:

• Stock up before baby comes: Fill your pantry and freezer with essentials: pasta, rice, canned beans, sauces, broth, nut butters. These are the foundations of quick, comforting meals you can throw together with minimal effort.

• Cook and freeze in advance: If you have the time, cook a few large-batch meals and freeze them in single or double portions. Think lasagna, soup, chili, stews, and casseroles. Label them clearly. Future You will be grateful.

• Keep it simple: One-pot and sheet pan meals are lifesavers. So are slow cookers and rice cookers. You can also prep ingredients, roast veggies, cook grains, prep sauces, so you can mix and match without starting from scratch.

• Set up a meal train: If friends and family ask how they can help, suggest a meal train. You can use free tools like MealTrain.com or just coordinate a shared calendar. Be clear about dietary needs and drop-off preferences (no surprise visits, please).

• Budget for takeout and delivery: Even with the best planning, there will be nights where the microwave feels like too much work. Keep a list of your go-to takeout spot.

• Consider a meal delivery service: Some services offer meals tailored to postpartum nutrition (like Chiyo or Welcome Home). If it fits your budget, it’s a great way to take one thing off your plate, literally.

• Eat for healing and energy: Make sure your meals include:

• Fruits and veggies for fiber, vitamins, and antioxidants

• Whole grains like oats, brown rice, or quinoa for long-lasting energy

• Lean proteins such as eggs, chicken, tofu, or beans to support healing

• Healthy fats like olive oil, avocado, and nuts to help you stay full

If you’re breastfeeding, your body needs extra fuel, about 300 to 500 additional calories per day. Prioritize hydration, protein, and key nutrients like calcium, iron, and vitamins A, C, and D.

Snacks!

Sometimes, all you need is a granola bar and a handful of trail mix at 3 a.m. Keep easy options on hand: yogurt, hummus and veggies, nut butter and fruit, hard-boiled eggs.

If baby has food sensitivities

Some breastfed babies react to things in your diet. Dairy, soy, and eggs are common triggers. If you notice a pattern, like gas, rashes, or discomfort, talk to your pediatrician or a lactation consultant. They can guide you through any elimination diets without compromising your nutrition.

Division of labor and support

You don’t need a master spreadsheet of chores, but it’s worth asking:

• What needs to get done every day?

• Who’s doing what, realistically?

• What can we outsource or delay?

The invisible stuff (like remembering pediatric appointments or sending updates to family) can be just as exhausting as laundry. Talk about how you’ll divide the mental load, too, not just the physical tasks.

Keep checking in

You won’t know exactly what postpartum will feel like until you’re in it. Things will shift, some days will go smoothly, others might feel totally upside down. That’s normal.

What helps is checking in with each other regularly. Ask: What’s working? What’s not? What do we want to tweak? This isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about staying connected and supported as you figure it out, one day (or night) at a time.