How will we help our baby learn to communicate?

Your baby starts communicating with you from the moment they are born: in sighs, wiggles, and full-throated screeches that suggest you must understand they wanted the giraffe rattle, not the bear. (Obviously.)

But supporting your baby’s communication isn’t about obsessing over when they’ll talk. It’s about building connection, confidence, and curiosity—one “ba,” “goo,” or delighted hand wave at a time.

Here’s how to think about it all: cries, spoken language, sign language, and, if you’re a bilingual or multilingual family, which language(s) you’re speaking, and how.

Crying: Your Baby’s First (Very Effective) Language

Before the coos and babbles, before the waving and pointing, there’s one form of communication your baby masters immediately: crying. It may not be subtle, but it is powerful. And believe it or not, it’s one of the earliest ways your baby tells you exactly how they’re feeling.

At first, cries might feel like a mystery. But soon enough, you'll start to notice patterns: the “I’m hungry” cry, the “I’m overtired” cry, the “Why is the ceiling fan gone?” cry. You won’t always know for sure, but your baby isn’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for comfort, and when you respond, they’re learning something profound: that sounds bring connection. That they can express themselves, and someone will care.

Not every cry has a solution. Sometimes babies cry just because the world is a lot: too loud, too bright, too much. Even then, your voice and your presence can soothe them. Some babies like rocking. Others respond to soft music or even the hum of a vacuum. And sometimes, all you can do is hold them and wait for the storm to pass. That counts as communication, too.

Worried you’re “spoiling” them? You’re not. You can’t spoil a newborn. Responding with care doesn’t reinforce bad habits; it builds trust. And if you’re going through a stretch where the crying feels endless, especially in the evening, you’re not alone. Many babies have a regular “fussy hour” (or two).

If your baby cries for hours every day and nothing seems to help, talk to your pediatrician. It might be colic, which is common and usually fades by 3 or 4 months, or a sign of illness or pain, especially if accompanied by other symptoms.Either way, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re navigating a conversation that doesn’t use words yet.

Start simple: talk early, talk often

Babies learn language through repetition, connection, and good old-fashioned exposure. The more you talk to them, the stronger their brain’s language wiring gets. During the first three years, their brain forms over a million new neural connections per second. So go ahead:

• Narrate your day out loud: “We’re putting on the tiny sock. This sock has stripes!”

• Repeat key words: “Hi! Hi, baby! Hiiii!”

• Use that singsong voice you thought you’d never use. It’s called infant-directed speech, and babies adore it.

One-on-one time is especially powerful. Babies respond best when they’re face-to-face with you and not distracted by background noise (sorry, TV). Your baby doesn’t care if you’re talking about how tired you are. They care that you're talking to them.

Tune in and take turns

Language is learned through interaction. Even newborns are wired for it.

• Smile and wait after they coo

• Echo their sounds and facial expressions

• Respond with delight, even if their “words” are more like raspberry sneezes

This is called "serve and return", and it’s the foundation of all communication.

Add in baby sign language

If you’ve ever been baffled by a screaming baby who clearly needs something—but what?!—you might appreciate the magic of sign language. Baby sign language uses simple gestures for common words like “milk,” “more,” or “all done.” It doesn’t delay speech; in fact, research shows it may:

• Reduce frustration (for you and your baby)

• Strengthen early communication skills

• Boost vocabulary and verbal development

Most babies can start to understand signs by 6 months and may start signing back between 8–9 months. Start with just a few, like “milk,” “help,” or “sleep”, and pair the sign with the word consistently.

You don’t need to do it perfectly or follow a program. And if your baby’s favorite sign becomes “please” whenever they want ice cream? Well… prepare to be charmed.

Considering more than one language? Let’s talk bilingual babies

If you and your partner speak different languages, or you just want to raise a multilingual child, you might be wondering how to start. And whether you need a formal plan.

Short answer: You don’t need to follow a rigid rulebook. But it helps to talk about your goals and habits now.

One well-known approach is OPOL: One Parent, One Language. Each parent consistently speaks a different language to the child. It sounds tidy. It isn’t always practical.

Maybe one of you is home more. Or maybe the “minority language” would barely get heard if one parent sticks to the “majority” one. Or maybe, like many families, you just naturally switch back and forth depending on context, emotion, or who just stubbed their toe.

Minority Language at Home (MLAH) is another approach, where you use the non-dominant language inside your home, especially if your child will hear the dominant one in school or community settings.

As you discuss what might work best for you: think about how language shows up in your everyday life. Maybe you naturally switch between both languages depending on who you're with or what you’re doing. You might read books in one, sing songs in the other, or FaceTime a grandparent who brings the minority language to life in a way no app ever could.

And then there’s the language of your heart. The one that slips out when you’re rocking your baby in the dark or whispering “I love you” without even thinking. That language matters too. Sometimes it’s the one with the deepest emotional resonance, and that bond can be just as powerful for your child’s language development as any plan or method.

The research is clear: What matters most is exposure and consistency, not whether you follow a perfect 50/50 split.

Games, music, and books

Language doesn’t live in flashcards. It lives in play.

• Sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and do the motions

• Read the same silly book ten thousand times

• Point to objects and name them: “Ball! Red ball! Big red ball!”

Books, rhymes, and routines help your baby connect words to actions and meanings. The more multi-sensory the experience, the deeper the learning.

And most importantly… take the pressure off

If you’re worried your baby isn’t “talking yet” or if you “missed a sign,” exhale. Communication isn’t about milestones on a chart; it’s about connection.

Every baby develops at their own pace. If you have concerns about hearing or speech development, talk to your pediatrician during a well-child visit.

You don’t have to get it “right” all the time. You just have to show up, speak from the heart, and make space for your baby to respond.

To sum it up:

• Talk, a lot.

• Make eye contact and respond warmly.

• Consider adding baby sign language.

• If you’re bilingual, find the mix that works for your family, and have fun with it.

• Read, sing, and play in whatever language feels joyful.

• Follow your baby’s lead. They’ll show you what they’re ready for.

• You’re not just raising a child who can speak. You’re raising a child who feels heard. And that’s a lifelong gift.

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