Do we have life insurance, and is it enough?

Before becoming parents, life insurance may have felt optional. Like reading the warranty on your blender. Nice to have, but not urgent.

But now? You’re responsible for a tiny human who can’t even hold their own neck up. Suddenly, protecting your family financially if something unexpected happened can be one of the most practical ways to show you care.

Start with the big, awkward question

Ready? Here it is: If something happened to me, would my partner and child be okay financially?

And vice versa.

Yes, it’s a heavy question. But it’s also a powerful one. It kicks off a conversation that isn’t about fear. It’s about care. And as with most things in parenting, talking about it openly is half the battle.

What life insurance is (and isn’t)

Let’s simplify it. Life insurance = a safety net. If one of you passes away, the other receives a payment (called a “death benefit”) to help cover the cost of living without you. You’ll generally choose between two main types.

Term life insurance: This is the most straightforward and affordable option for new parents. It covers you for a set period, usually 10, 20, or 30 years, and pays out a lump sum if you pass away during that term. Once the term ends? The policy expires, and that’s it. No payout, no refund.

Most term policies are “level term,” meaning your premium and benefit stay the same throughout. Because term life is budget-friendly and matches temporary financial responsibilities (like raising kids or paying off a mortgage), it’s often the go-to choice for young families.

Whole/permanent life insurance: Whole life provides coverage for your entire life, as long as you keep up with the premiums, and builds cash value over time. That value grows at a guaranteed rate and can be borrowed against or used in an emergency. Some policies even pay dividends.

But all that comes at a cost: whole life premiums are significantly higher than term, often 5–10x more for the same coverage. And if you miss payments? Your policy could lapse, and you could lose both the coverage and the savings you’ve built up, making it a high-stakes option for new parents.

For some families, especially those with long-term dependents or specific estate planning goals, whole life may be worth considering. But for most? It’s more commitment than necessary at this stage.

How much is enough?

A common starting point many financial advisors suggest is 10 to 12 times your annual income. That’s just a guideline, though. Your needs may be higher or lower depending on debt, child care costs, or long-term savings goals.

Here’s another, simple way to think about it:

[Your annual income] × [number of years you want to provide for] + major expenses (like a mortgage, college fund, or daycare) – existing savings = ballpark life insurance amount.

Let’s say:

• You make $70,000 a year

• You’d want to cover 15 years of income

• Plus $100,000 for your child’s future college fund

• You already have $30,000 in savings

That’s: ($70,000 x 15) + $100,000 – $30,000 = $1,120,000 policy needed.

Of course, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. You might want to go higher or lower based on:

• Whether both of you work

• Whether one of you stays home (and needs their unpaid labor insured)

• Any debt you’d want paid off (like student loans or a mortgage)

Don’t get paralyzed trying to find the perfect number. Getting some coverage in place is better than endlessly researching and getting none.

Who actually needs coverage?

The default assumption is often: “the breadwinner gets life insurance.” But let’s expand that thinking.

• If one of you stays home: That person is contributing massive value. Replacing child care, house management, and all the invisible glue that holds daily life together? That’s thousands of dollars a month, easily.

• If both of you work: You likely both need policies to cover lost income and help the surviving partner manage financially while grieving, adjusting, and figuring out the next chapter.

• If you already have a policy through work: Great! But don’t stop there. Those policies often only cover 1–2x your salary, and they disappear if you leave your job. Consider it a supplement, not a solution.

• The best time to get life insurance is during pregnancy, when you have time to research and apply. But if your baby’s already here? Don’t stress. The right time is now, while you’re thinking about it.

Choosing a policy without losing your minds

Use a reputable site or broker (like Policygenius, Ladder, or your existing insurance provider) to compare quotes. Get a policy that fits your budget and your goals. You can always adjust it later.

Some policies require a short medical exam or questionnaire, especially if you're applying for higher coverage. Health, age, and even hobbies like skydiving or rock climbing can influence your premium, so be sure to check the fine print.

To get the best rate, make sure to shop around or work with a trusted insurance agent who can walk you through your options and help you compare quotes.

Talk about “what happens if…”

Once you’ve got coverage in place, take one more brave step: talk about the “what ifs.”

• Who would care for your child?

• How would the money be used?

• Would your partner keep working? Move? Take time off?

You don’t need a fully notarized blueprint. But having some clarity, some shared understanding, can bring a surprising sense of peace.